20 Steps to a Teen's Epic Week

DISCLAIMER: Sometimes, I rather enjoy being an unconventional mom. Even when there are times, like last week, when it wears me the f*ck out. In fact, this post was to have been written last Friday, but I was too knackered to do it. So here 'tis now, though 'tis late.

20 Steps to Making Your Teens' Whole Week, Zoe-style:

1. Spring your 15-year-old, Desi, from his second day of 10th grade.

2. Liberate your 13-year-old Gabriel from his pre-first-day-of-eighth-grade required reading session. Who wants to read JOHNNY TREMAIN anyway? Not this guy:

3. Give 'em both some bogus reason like having to duck into Atlanta for some appointment on their behalf. Don't tell them until you arrive that your destination is the sidewalk in front of Criminal Records.

4. Enjoy their bafflement for a moment, then draw their attention to the sign in the window.

Yanno, the one that says #SPvsATL Round 3: The Signing 3 PM Today! Which explains why you've brought their homemade tribute Scott Pilgrim tee-shirts. Flash a grin as they hurriedly pull them over their heads.

5. Enjoy smug satisfaction that you're second in line. Especially when you know it's gonna look like this by 3:
Pic by Veronica Kai. And, yeah, it was that hot.
6. Watch your kid go from happy-to-sit-in-line to I'ma-kill-someone-with-this-if-we-don't-get-inside soon.

7. Make this face.

8. Then send boys inside to annoy Criminal Records staff by taking pictures of them setting up...

...and by indulging their strange fascination with Pocky.

Sigh. Yes, that's Dez's hand. Yes, he was so knocked out by GIANT Pocky that he had to offer said hand for purposes of scale.
9. Happen to spot your husband's cousin, Anthony, who works at Project 96.1.

Hi, Ant!!

10. Listen to boys squeal like teenage girls when Ant hands us three of these:

Except they didn't look like this, cuz those were for Boston, and we're in Atlanta. But three free advance screening passes!
11. Bless the air conditioning when we finally get to line up inside.

12. Try to keep your 15-year-old from hyperventilating when they actually MEET these guys in person:

Oddly, Michael Cera is much less Cera-ey in person. Schwartzman, on the other hand, is just as Schwartzy as you'd imagine.
13. Hitch a ride home on their cloud nine; listen to Dez's shocked tearfulness about how "JASON FREAKIN' SCHWARTZMAN" got up and hugged him as he hyperventilated, and G's excited chatter about how Edgar Wright gave him some backstory re: the 4 1/2 tee-shirt G had made. Grin at autographed shwag.

Gabriel lucked out into being one of only about 5 who got personalized autographs. Nice!

14. Spend Wednesday recovering, and posting crappy cell-phone vids, such as the moment when director Edgar Wright (SHAUN OF THE DEAD, HOT FUZZ) entered stage right.

15. And when Scott Pilgrim himself, one Michael Cera, finally stumbled in.

16. Thursday, give 'em two pistol fingers of triumph when they return from school MUCH COOLER than when they went. Yanno, cuz they each got to take a friend to the Thursday nite advance screening.

17. Smile as you hear them, from two rows back in the theater, singing along to The Clash at Demonhead (a.k.a. the real life band, Metric, whose Scott Pilgrim tracks they'd downloaded weeks before).

18. Leave the theater with four boys and a hubs still thrilling after a movie that went something like this:

19. Promise to take them to see it again this weekend; grin as hubs frames this and puts it with all the other strange art on our living room wall.

20. Finally, know that, as one cool-ass mom, you KO'd the HELL outta the week :D

Any questions?


Anonymous | August 19, 2010 at 10:12 AM

Zoe! The f-bomb, finger style, eep! ;)

Looks like you had a blast!!!! Great pics! :D

Zoe C. Courtman | August 19, 2010 at 10:16 AM

LOL - I know, right? And my 15-year-old was the one snapping the pic :D As I said, we're an unconventional bunch! We had a blast - but I'm GLAD it's all over. Talk about TIRED!!!

Alesa Warcan | August 19, 2010 at 10:18 AM


You remember those corny commercials for cheese? "How do you get happy kids? By giving them cheese laced with preservatives, MSG, and narcotics. Cheese makes it better."

Well you just blasted that straight out of the water! Out of the water and out of earth's orbit. Nicely done! : D

Zoe C. Courtman | August 19, 2010 at 10:19 AM

*snarfs* Thanks, Alesa!! Took me long enough to post something new, huh? And when I do, it's me flashing the bird to my kids :D But that's how we roll :D

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) | August 19, 2010 at 10:22 AM

Zoe! You rock as the best mum ever. I bet this earns you brownie points for years!

Looks like so much fun though... now get some rest. :)

Alesa Warcan | August 19, 2010 at 10:27 AM

I'm in no position to point fingers (any finger)...
All I've done blogwise this week is set up the review section and the other page on my blog... Oh yeah, and send you an email.

Besides, isn't far better to seldom come up to the bloggy plate but hit homeruns every time than to constantly strike out.; j

Candyland | August 19, 2010 at 10:28 AM

Aww!!!You're a freakin' cool momma! I love Michael Cera.

Zoe C. Courtman | August 19, 2010 at 10:39 AM

Lol - thanks, Lindsay! I'd better get some brownie points :D In fact, I told them they couldn't bitch about scooping cat boxes or mowing the lawn for at LEAST four months :)

Alesa - I hope that's the case. I just get too wrapped up with finishing this draft to post often. But it'll have to do! (And I got your email, just haven't responded yet, cuz I SUCK at time management :D)

Hey, Candyland!! Thanks!! We love Cera, too. In fact, we had to do a tribute viewing of JUNO just to see him again :D

Lizard301 | August 19, 2010 at 10:44 AM

There are some that get so focussed on pursuing their wants and desires that they forget to cherish what they already have. Props to you for making a concentrated effort to enjoy the NOW and be "in the moment."


I approve 100%

Now to pass that logic onto my bf... <3

Zoe C. Courtman | August 19, 2010 at 10:59 AM

Aw, Lisa. See, this is why we've been friends for, like, 15 years :D Kev & I just didn't care that they'd be missing school; we try to do that living in the moment thing whenever we can. It's stuff like this they'll remember :D <3 right back atcha!

Palindrome | August 19, 2010 at 11:19 AM

OMG, I lurve me some Pocky!! Best snack food ever!!

Zoe C. Courtman | August 19, 2010 at 12:05 PM

God, Palindrome, don't get Dez STARTED on Pocky! Seriously, the boy's obsessed :D

Shannon Whitney Messenger | August 19, 2010 at 1:07 PM

Okay, you definitely get mom of the year award for that one! And now that it's a blog post you can just send them here the next time they're whining about something, like: REMEMBER THIS?!?!?

Looks like an awesome time! Thanks for sharing! (And I'm so glad to be back to blog hopping again!)

Vicki Rocho | August 19, 2010 at 1:17 PM

You are an AWESOME mom. And you just set the bar pretty high for the rest of us.

Daughterling saw the movie the other night. Me and my total uncoolness had never heard of it before. (Shhh, don't tell anyone)

Indigo | August 19, 2010 at 2:14 PM

I'd say your mom status rose considerably to 'Wicked' after this. Awesome! (Hugs)Indigo

Anonymous | August 19, 2010 at 10:01 PM

Dude, this is EPIC (and you know, because it's right in the title), and THINK of how many years you can make reference to it! You've got the documentation right here!

Angela M. | August 19, 2010 at 11:51 PM

Amazing fun, and it'll buy them off for like ten minutes (teens and their short memories). JK. I agree w/ Indigo. They'll be talking about this forever!

Alex J. Cavanaugh | August 20, 2010 at 7:56 AM

Yup, you are one cool mom!

Carol Kilgore | August 20, 2010 at 11:06 AM

Winner ... Coolest Mom in the World Award! Way to go, Zoe :)

Raquel Byrnes | August 20, 2010 at 2:58 PM

Talk about brownie points! You know you're officially the coolest mom ever. They look like they had a blast.

Roland D. Yeomans | August 20, 2010 at 3:47 PM

Great job, Mom.

Now, what are you going to do for an encore?

Kids, what are you going to do with them? Hard to live with them, and it's against the law to lure them into the microwave.

Loved your pictures and the color commentary.

Thanks for dropping by my blog and leaving such a great comment. It is mucho appreciated. Don't be a stranger.

The ghost of William Faulkner steps in for me tomorrow with a hint or two on how to write better.

Boy, I admire you for enduring that line and the screaming for your sons. Whew! Way to go, Zoe.

Theresa Milstein | August 23, 2010 at 9:19 PM

How cool of a mom are you? I'll have to keep this in mind for my future teenagers.

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