See that ugly sucker? Yeah. Turns out it's a giant coconut crab. And it's not alone:
Mmm-hmm, not sure if I'd be smiling. Fo realz. I'd be looking around for a flamethrower. I hate crabs. You know why? Cuz they look like fucking spiders. OF THE SEA. (And yes, I've seen giant spider crabs. Giant fucking 'bamas.) I'm talkin' flamethrowers, y'all. Flamethrowers.
Anyone else having a did-a-chick? dod-a-chock? moment?
Oh, and these photos came from THIS blog.
Anywho, apparently these crabstrosities are all over the southwestern Pacific islands...which was NOT great news for Amelia Earhart, turns out. (Like, gross.)
But you know what bums me out? That horrifying creatures such as those do not exist naturally in my imagination. No. I have to WRACK MY BRAINS to come up with the good, shamblin', scary ones, while trying EQUALLY hard to NOT be DERIVATIVE. (But I'm not bitter. No.)
So imagine my chagrin when I happened upon the pics of those suckers. Sigh. IMAGINE the freakin' horror stories I could come up with if such creatures populated my brain. And even scarier, imagine the SITUATIONS I could create.
Unfortch, scientists are thinking that Earhart met her end in one such horrific scenario. Alone, hungry and desperate on an uninhabited island, yet only 300 miles from her destination. Oh, wait. She wasn't alone. She had her navigator.
AND AN ENTIRE ISLAND FULL OF THOSE FREAKIN' BONE-EATING CRABS.